Where do I go from here?

I don't know how to start this, but i'll start it anyways.


Tonight, Hunter's dad was suppose to come over to see him. Guess what didn't happen? He didn't come see his son! He hasn't seen him in over a week. No shock there. I feel like i'm a single parent, even though were still together.


Let's go back to a week...I ended up sick. I barely was talking to him when he came over. I felt like crap and just wanted to sleep. I wanted to be left alone. On top of that, everything between me and him was finally getting to me. It was bugging me for awhile but it fully hit me that night. Then everyday after it was getting harder and harder and hitting me 10x worse! Everything for the last 10 months finally built up and I was breaking.


Fast forward to tonight..I was talking to him via text...I get this text while I was at target with my mom. I almost burst into tears from being so upset. Here's what it said "I guess i'll just start seeing my son when he's not breast feeding anymore so we don't have to be around each other." That's over 2 months of him not seeing him or anything. I don't know when i'm stopping breast feeding either. I was upset, hurt, pissed off. How am I suppose to be not hurt or upset about that! Were not even broken up! I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't even text him back. I turned my phone off and left it at that. I couldn't talk to him. The sad thing is, I don't even feel like were even together anymore. I know what's coming and i'm prepared for it. I have NO support from him anymore. I need that support from him, but I don't have it anymore.


I'm rasing MY son on MY own WITHOUT him! He's not paying for one thing. I pay all of Hunter's bills. I pay for his clothes, soap, diapers, wipes, ect. What does he give me a month for all of this..Nothing! I really feel like a single parent! He gets to pick when he wants to see Hunter and be a parent to him. I don't! He has another thing coming if he thinks i'm seriously going to let him take our son. I'm not trying to be a bitch about it, but I don't have a guarantee that he'll actually bring him back to me. On friday, i'm filing for sole custody of our son and for child support. I don't need his money but it would be nice to have extra money for all of Hunter's needs and toys for him or just to take him places.

I really just don't know anymore. I mean he's missed out on everything since he was born. He missed his birth, when he rolled over, his first smile, the first time he started to crawl, the first time he sat up, the first time he stood up. He even missed his first step, and that was last night! i'm upset he's missed everything out of his first year and hasn't cared to be around for it either.


I know were breaking up, but after 2 years it's harder to end this relationship. I kinda feel like we need a break to figure things out. More like he needs to figure out if he wants us to be a family or even wants to be a part of Hunter's life. I don't where I go from here. I'm hurt, but I know what i'm going to do is for the best. I will always love and care about Corey. He's my high school sweetheart after all. Most of all he's the father of my son. I have no idea where I go from here, but i'll figure it out.