Marriage?

To start this off, Corey and I are officially better. I'm really happy were finally better and no longer fighting. I'm also not filing for custody or child support from him.

Back on topic though. Last night Corey was over and we seriously spent hours talking about this. I brought up marriage after my mom mentioned that he can move in whenever, at least if he wants to or I want him too. I'm a little skeptical to be honest. The whole marriage thing is a HUGE step for both of us. Yes, we do know we do want to spend the rest of our lives together and not just for our son either. Were just not sure if getting married right now is the right thing to do. We almost did get married while I was pregnant, but we didn't. Our parents told us, both that we shouldn't get married just because I was pregnant so we didn't get pregnant. I'm actually glad that we didn't. We've had our ups and downs, but to be honest it's made 100x stronger. While talking about this, he started to hint. I'm apparently "out of the loop" because I have a different last name then him and our son. I wanted to laugh but I couldn't because it actually was kind of sweet. He did some seriously sweet things for me yesterday. I'm grateful to have him in my life and our sons. He wants me to start looking at rings and wedding dresses and were not even engaged yet! Everyone is thinking it's coming soon, but i'm not counting on it. I think its funny how everyone is saying its coming, but they've been saying this for the last year and a half. When it comes it comes.

But our 2 year is coming up on the 21st! I'm super excited and have no idea what hes planning but he sure is planning something. I think my mom or his parents might be watching Hunter for a few hours that night. We'll see though!

Off topic- an earlier post about Corey not helping. Well he did a 180! He just went out and bought everything Hunter needed without me asking. I'm one proud girlfriend. Oh and Hunter took his first steps a few days ago. He walked all the way to his daddy last night though! I'm also one proud mommy!

Where do I go from here?

I don't know how to start this, but i'll start it anyways.


Tonight, Hunter's dad was suppose to come over to see him. Guess what didn't happen? He didn't come see his son! He hasn't seen him in over a week. No shock there. I feel like i'm a single parent, even though were still together.


Let's go back to a week...I ended up sick. I barely was talking to him when he came over. I felt like crap and just wanted to sleep. I wanted to be left alone. On top of that, everything between me and him was finally getting to me. It was bugging me for awhile but it fully hit me that night. Then everyday after it was getting harder and harder and hitting me 10x worse! Everything for the last 10 months finally built up and I was breaking.


Fast forward to tonight..I was talking to him via text...I get this text while I was at target with my mom. I almost burst into tears from being so upset. Here's what it said "I guess i'll just start seeing my son when he's not breast feeding anymore so we don't have to be around each other." That's over 2 months of him not seeing him or anything. I don't know when i'm stopping breast feeding either. I was upset, hurt, pissed off. How am I suppose to be not hurt or upset about that! Were not even broken up! I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't even text him back. I turned my phone off and left it at that. I couldn't talk to him. The sad thing is, I don't even feel like were even together anymore. I know what's coming and i'm prepared for it. I have NO support from him anymore. I need that support from him, but I don't have it anymore.


I'm rasing MY son on MY own WITHOUT him! He's not paying for one thing. I pay all of Hunter's bills. I pay for his clothes, soap, diapers, wipes, ect. What does he give me a month for all of this..Nothing! I really feel like a single parent! He gets to pick when he wants to see Hunter and be a parent to him. I don't! He has another thing coming if he thinks i'm seriously going to let him take our son. I'm not trying to be a bitch about it, but I don't have a guarantee that he'll actually bring him back to me. On friday, i'm filing for sole custody of our son and for child support. I don't need his money but it would be nice to have extra money for all of Hunter's needs and toys for him or just to take him places.

I really just don't know anymore. I mean he's missed out on everything since he was born. He missed his birth, when he rolled over, his first smile, the first time he started to crawl, the first time he sat up, the first time he stood up. He even missed his first step, and that was last night! i'm upset he's missed everything out of his first year and hasn't cared to be around for it either.


I know were breaking up, but after 2 years it's harder to end this relationship. I kinda feel like we need a break to figure things out. More like he needs to figure out if he wants us to be a family or even wants to be a part of Hunter's life. I don't where I go from here. I'm hurt, but I know what i'm going to do is for the best. I will always love and care about Corey. He's my high school sweetheart after all. Most of all he's the father of my son. I have no idea where I go from here, but i'll figure it out.

Every mom has a story

I'll start off telling a little about myself and my "awesome" life:

I go by the name of Emily (or mama). I'm 19 years old and i'm the girlfriend of a very handsome man named Corey. Together we have possibly one of the most adorable little boys this world has ever seen. I think he's pretty handsome myself. He's my life. His name is Hunter Wayne Paul, he was born May 17th, 2010. My career goal in life is being put on hold for the moment, not because I have a baby. But because I would rather stay at home with my son and he freaks if he's gone away from me for a matter of time. He's a mommy's boy. So an cosmetologist will have to wait a little longer. My son and I live with my mother and step-father. Corey lives with his parents. We could nove out if we wanted to, but it makes no sense for us to move out. We can afford it without living "paycheck to paycheck" but Corey is gone alot. He doesn't want Hunter and me in this apartment or house without him there. He's super protective of us. Corey's job also lets me be a stay at home mom to our son. So now this cyber world nows my life, at least for right now.

I may not post everyday. I'll post when I can. I'm a busy girl chasing my 10 month old around!



This is the special little boy in my life.
He was 2 months old in this picture.
He's now 10 months and much bigger.

This is Corey, my boyfriend, best friend.
This happens to be my favorite picture of these two.
They were both asleep.